Meeting Potential Intended Parents? 8 Questions to Ask Them


Your surrogacy agency will match you with an individual or couple they feel would be a good mutual fit, but it’s up to you to decide if the match feels right to you. One of the best ways to find out if you and the intended parent(s) are the right match is to ask plenty of questions to get to know them well.

Here are eight questions that are important to ask:

Why are you considering surrogacy?

This question is one of the most essential ones. It really helps you to understand where they are in their journey to building a family and how they have reached the point where they are today. This can remind you how important your willingness to be a surrogate is to them.

What is your family like?

While it’s their baby you’ll be carrying, not yours, knowing the child will be loved and welcomed can make you feel more connected to the IPs and confident in your decision. The empathy this will give you can help power you through the tough days.

How many embryos do you expect to transfer?

You may have strong feelings about carrying a multiple pregnancy and whether you are willing to undergo selective reduction if a multiple pregnancy occurs. It’s very important that you and the IPs are on the same page in this regard, so don’t hesitate to bring it up.

What are your relationship expectations?

Do the intended parents want to have close communication throughout the pregnancy and beyond? Some IP/Surrogate relationships are like family, while others are more transactional. That’s okay. There’s no wrong way to relate to each other, you just need to agree.

What are your expectations of the birth?

Creating a birthing plan is one of the most important aspects of the surrogacy journey. It’s highly personal for you as a woman, because it’s your body and you want to control the experience, but at the same time, it’s their baby. They’ve waited a long time to meet him or her and they probably want to be as involved as possible. Discussions at the beginning can help set expectations.

What are you looking for in a surrogate?

It’s helpful to know what factors will go into their decision-making process to see if your personalities will mesh. It’s a long journey and can sometimes be a difficult one. If you feel you won’t be able to meet their expectations, it’s better to know upfront.

How many IVF cycles will you attempt?

IVF can be expensive and physically taxing. It’s important to know whether they expect to try multiple times until they succeed. Share with them how you feel about it and how willing you are to undergo multiple attempts.

What questions do you have for me?

The first meeting is about getting to know each other personally and setting expectations. This conversation can only be successful if you are able to speak openly and ask even tough questions. The more you get out on the table now, the less you’ll have to worry about surprises later in your journey.

If you have any questions on the matching process or what to expect when meeting your intended parents, contact Surrogate Solutions today! There’s no question we haven’t heard before.

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